Sa aking pag-gising, pangarap kang makita
Pagpintig ng puso mayroong kaba
Di ko mailihim, ningning sa aking mata
Balang araw, ako'y umaasa ika'y makapiling
Sabay ng dalangin at pagbilog ng buwan

 

Paglipas ng araw, pangarap ko'y ganap
Ako'y iyung nasa isip, ako'y hanap-hanap
Di raw panaginip,

Sa isang iglap magkasama tayo, sa alapaap

Hawak kamay at sabay na humahanga sa
Ganda't liwanag ng buwan

 

Masdan mo giliw, langit sa piling mo
Mundo'y gumaganda,

Bawat hinga'y laan sa yo
Sa bawat ihip, at bulong ng hangin ay
Mundo'y iikot lang sa'yo

 

Dahil sa pagsubok, lahat ba'y may hangganan
Pag di inukol, walang hahantungan
Hayaan na lang isipin, hayaang maghangad
Mugto ang matang hawak ko, tangi mong larawan

Habang ako ay mag-isang nakatanaw
Sa pag-luha ng buwan

It's been 12 years since I last touched a comic book, and Jon "PP Idol ng Las Piñas" Duque, just comes in telling me about a good series that's coming at Marvel.  Skeptical at first, I tried to understand what caused this to happen in the first place.  Good thing Jon's a good storyteller (magaling sa bola at kwento e), and I was hooked.  Ayan, adik na naman ako comics!

 

It was somewhat hard for me to start over again.  Syempre, I had to try and understand what happens between the last time I read and comic book and what is happening now.  Pero it was all worth it.  I've never been this addicted to comics and if you're a fan then, you'd really want to get into this.

 

When Marvel says it is about to shake the entire Marvel Universe, they weren't kidding.  Read all about it in Civil

War!  Panget kasi kung kukwento ko sa inyo e...

 

This series has me shocked and in awe, at nasa 2nd part pa lang ah...

 

Haayy... balik na naman ako sa pagkabata... at least excited na ulet ako! hehehe

The past week I've been so busy browsing the Web, being addicted to games I either saw or was recommended to by my friends (Check out my links to know them all).

 

This has resulted in me not taking my job seriously.  It seems this takes up much of my work time, instead of doing actual work.  For the first time in months, I've lost focus and now I'm getting late for deadlines.  Hey, it's much better to know the answer found in Dracula's riddle than to know what caused the stats to go down, right?

 

My colleagues feel something's not right here, that it could be a sign of things to come.  I hope it's not.

 

Before that happens, though, let's play!

---

 

Ooh, ooh...

Do you ever think about me?
Do you ever cry yourself to sleep?
In the middle of the night when you're awake,
Are you calling out for me?
Do you ever reminisce?
I can't believe I'm acting like this
I know it's crazy
How I still can feel your kiss

 

It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better but it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away

 

Do you ever ask about me?
Do your friends still tell you what to do?
Every time the phone rings,
Do you wish it was me calling you?
Do you still feel the same?
Or has time put out the flame?
I miss you
Is everything okay?

 

It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better but it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away

 

It's hard enough just passing the time
When I can't seem to get you off my mind
And where is the good in goodbye?
Tell me why, tell me why

 

It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better but it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away

 

Sing it for me
Ooh, ooh...

Since the US celebrated Memorial Day last Monday, sakto lang itong blog ko... hehehe

 

Check out this blog's title, "In loving memory".  It kinda reminds me of obituaries; of what the heading would say to someone who recently died, or to people celebrate a loved one's death anniversary.

 

A recent event and a very thought-provoking remark made me think about this.  The event -- my grandfather is now in a hospital bed, death apparently imminent.  He was, I believe, a very proud man, with a very enviable position in the government.  You can say that he has maintained a very well-to-do family, and he has a firm control of his life and his family. 

 

Last Sunday, I got to visit him in the hospital, different from what I used to before.  His body was frail, and although you can see that he's sound asleep, you also sense that he is listening to his visitors egging him to fight for his life, to hang on.  I never had the courage to get close to him, maybe out of sheer respect or fright the way I did when I was a kid then.  I remembered that same Sunday morning I was praying to God to take of him whatever happens in the next few days, and I said that same prayer inside the ICU.

 

I've never been a fan of funerals, rarely checking the corpse inside the casket as I might get a vivid impression of that person in my mind (takot kasi ako sa patay), and I don't want dead people to play there.  I've never attended many funerals as well, although there were some memorable ones, which I'd rather not discuss (mahirap na)... hehehe

 

As I went back outside, my grandfather's sons, my titos, were discussing to my mom and tita how detailed their dad was.  They found an envelope with specific instructions on what to do "in case of emergency".  Wow!  I was surprised, and it only reinforced my assumption of how controlled my lolo was, even planning this.  The plans were set, the funeral arrangements, what we should wear, the works!  At may pera na para dun ha, allotted na kapag tumaas o bumaba ung presyo!  San ka pa?

 

Looking at it, I was impressed and I really admired what he has done.  I've always thought of him as mataas, ung tipong parang di mo makakausap (actually, ganun pa rin tingin ko... hehehe), pero this was one side that I would very much like to emulate.  Feeling ko nga tita ko ganito e, parang prepared for everything that gets thrown in her way.  Kakainggit ang mga taong ganito, to have so much control of their lives and their families, na sana magaya ko rin sila.

 

Moving on to part two of this blog.  My friend and I talked last Monday night and he asked me if I did love <insert name of person here>.  Of course, I gave him my standard answer (It's "yes", for you morons out there), and I also mentioned that I don't know if I still do.  Now here is his remark: "Pare, hindi mo na mahal yan, matagal na kayong hindi nagkita e... Mahal mo cguro yung memories of her within you, pero di na tlaga yung tao mismo ang mahal mo." 

 

He has a valid point.  Sabi pa nga nya e, "Pano mo mamahalin ang isang taong di mo nakikita, di mo naririnig, di mo nararamdaman?"  Of course di na ako humirit pa, baka mag-away pa kami nun! hehehe

 

"In loving memory", sakto na diba?

 

Going back to the first topic, naisip ko rin yun, what if yung taong mahal mo wala na dito sa mundo?  Di mo na sya makikita, di mo na sya maririnig, di mo na rin mararamdaman presence nya (unless mumu... yikes!).  Ibig sabihin ba nun pag tumagal ang panahon e hindi mo na rin mahal yung tao?  Does it mean you love him/her less because you're only loving the memories you have of him/her?

 

What I know is I won't know the answer until I've experienced the same thing my titos are experiencing.  We'll see what happens then.  Sana andito pa yung blog ko nun diba?  Kasi sure nakalimutan ko na yun! hehehe

 

Whatever happens now, I just want to say to my Lolo Turing that God will most certainly take care of you, as He always has been all your life. 

 

Peace be with you and your family.

 

Sana ganun din ako kaprepared sa buhay ko.  Sure, madaming hassle dahil maraming plano, pero at least ayos ang buhay mo at ng pamilya mo diba?

 

Wow!  Has it been that long since I had a cellphone?

 

Ever since I lost my last one during that WWE show, I sort of told myself that it wasn't worth the hassle to get one again.  Bakit pa e hindi ko naman masyadong ginagamit, diba?  And the expenses I'm sure to pay for using another phone, prepaid (or postpaid na?) charges and the phone itself maybe too much for me to bear.

 

Syempre, family and friends would argue that I would only need a not too expensive phone, "di ko naman masyadong gagamitin diba?".  May point naman sila, kaso ayaw ko pa rin e... hehehe

 

 

So, bakit nga ba ayaw ko gumamit ng cellphone?  At first, I was trying to prove a point -- remember the days when there were no cellphones?  Kaya naman natin mabuhay ng ganun diba?  Pag nag-uusap, as in sa landline lang talaga.  The next thing you know, I was trying to see kung gaano ko katagal matitiis ito.  And guess what?  Kaya ko pa tiisin!  Problema nga lang, yung pamilya at kaibigan ang di na makatiis! hahaha! 

 

After more than three months, tinanong ko nalang sa sarili ko why I still don't want to have a cellphone.  My answer: it's because I still don't find it necessary in my life right now.

 

Maybe I'll finally get one when I finally find the right phone, maybe when I finally find the right reason to own one. 

 

Till then, the Ruthless Resilience continues, maybe until August 15. 

 

Bakit August 15?  Secret! hehehe

What's in store for me tonight?  Probably the most grueling and tension-filled work I'll be doing since last year!  At least I know that there will be no more  for me during my shift, as my brain won't have much thought about that.

 

Here's hoping that I get done today, as I feel for my colleagues who will have to endure much more pain and suffering in their respective tasks.  Good luck to all of us!

Haayyy...  Yes, I'm on the dreaded night shift again.  You'd think that working at the middle of the night coming from sickness is bad enough, wait till you find out that you're the only QC aboard for the entire journey.  How am I supposed to work properly without someone trying to wake me up every now and then? ha!

 

I can't, and I don't trust the people sitting in the workstations of my colleagues.  They're not supposed to be here in the first place, but they find our PCs "comfortable".  Ha!  Maybe they should try making their own stations comfortable, then they won't complain that much!  I'm not particularly happy that most of the time I go to work, there is someone in my PC working and having fun with his/her teammates, while I can spot ten to twenty PCs they can fully use to their heart's content.

 

Don't get me wrong.  These guys are the so-called "frontliners" in where I work.  But come on now, the reason we have our own PCs is to let us have the freedom to save huge files (porn, MP3s and WMAs?) onto their hard drives, lessening the hassle of always uploading them on the ever so slow server.  You can have unlimited browsing capabilities anyway, so what's the point in using our own PCs?

 

I'm just ranting, that's all.  Maybe I need to get some sleep.  Maybe I need medicine (I suddenly feel cold).  Maybe I just want to go home (please let it be 6:30 now!).  Or maybe I just need to be "comfortable" with these guys.

 

Ahh... To be alone tonight... 

1994.  I was on my second year in high school then.  Wrestling was a big thing for my friends; at times we were reenacting the famous "Hulk Up" by Hogan coming from the sleeper hold.  Me and my friends almost always talked about wrestling those days, and we came across news that they would come to Manila to do a series of shows.  I even caught HBK Shawn Michaels promote this show on Eye to Eye with Inday Badiday.  All I could think about then was What a lame way to promote a show, as Inday Badiday (God bless her soul), in her famous hoarse voice, repeatedly asked HBK if he remembered her name (haha!) .

 

We were excited to know that famous wrestlers such as HBK, Bret Hart (before he was "screwed"), Sycho Sid (ok, so he really isn't what you call "famous"), Vader, and many others were gonna wrestle at the Araneta Coliseum, but we also knew that it would be impossible for us to watch them perform.  Of course, we still have school to take care of, and also it's because of the almighty peso rearing its ugly head on us hapless students.  So I said to myself then that given the time, chance, and of course, the money, I would definitely want to see WWE wrestling live.

 

You see, I've been a wrestling fan ever since WWF Superstars was a show on IBC-13.  Immortal icons and names such as Hulk Hogan, "Macho Man" Randy Savage, Andre the Giant, Ultimate Warrior, Demolition, The Hart Foundation, The Rockers and Legion of Doom were all I watched every Wednesday nights at 10 pm (afterwhich, there is the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling G.L.O.W.).  I would make sure to watch every PPV they've got, from Wrestlemania, Summerslam, King of the Ring, Survivor Series to the Royal Rumble.  There are still parts from those shows (Bret calling Jerry Lawler "Burger King", Repo Man cheating his way in the Rumble, Savage giving five Macho Man elbows and the Warrior not selling them) that I can vividly remember, and it just shows how wrestling has been imprinted in me.

 

Fast forward to 2006.  Twelve years since that day, and the now WWE decided to have another show here in Manila.  So many things have changed since those days:  I already graduated from school and am now earning money from a "good" employer.  This time, I said, I'm going to see those wrestlers perform.  I've got the time, chance, and the money, so who or what is going to stop me now?

 

People I've talked to before told me that to watch wrestling on TV is great, but to watch it live is by far very different.  Now I can definitely say that that is so true!

 

On TV, you can't help but cheer for the good guy, and boo the bad guy.  Seeing it live, it doesn't matter.  Yes, you can really see that it's all fake, that the wrestling moves were kind of sloppy, that the punches really don't hit the guy, and they just stomp their feet on the wrestling mat to make it sound like it was a hard blow, but it doesn't matter.  All that matters is that they're here, live and in the flesh, to perform for you.

 

Just hearing the entrance music of RVD, Carlito, Ric Flair and HHH gave me goosebumps, and I kept cheering for them without affiliation!  No face, no heel.  The great thing is I'm not the only one!  Every wrestling fan there at the show cheered, happy just to see them.

 

I hope the WWE wrestlers see and feel the same enthusiasm that I saw and felt that night.  I hope they loved our reaction to the show.  What does this mean?

 

 

Yes, I am a die-hard wrestling fan.  WWE, please make me happy.

Sorry, I'll upload the photos my camera's battery is fully charged.

Here's the RAW Live Tour recap:

 

 

Eugene was wearing a "Team Pacquiao" jacket! Cool! Eugene won with a Stone Cold Stunner.

 

 

Masters did the ass dance. Think of it as one bodybuilder would do to this pecs, instead Masters does it with his ass! First time I laughed at Masters! Also, Masters had lots of pimples on his back, possibly one proof he's on roids (as if being that ripped isn't proof enough!) Masters won with, what else, the Masterlock.

 

 

Kinda boring match. Crowd was really looking forward to Big Vis' buttrape!! eeewww!!!! I've noticed that Snitsky still doesn't know how to play with the crowd.

 

 

Missed Trish's hand by two inches! Match was sloppy. Instead of doing the handstand on the corner, which was blocked by Torrie, Trish did it in the middle of the ring and did the helicopter head scissors. Trish won with the chick kick.

 

 

I touched RVD's hand! I touched RVD's hand!

 

Carlito teased about giving his shirt which read, "Do you spit or swallow?". Instead, he just gave it to the stagehand, saying that that shirt costs money. That got tons of boos from the crowd! Man, Carlito really knows how to play with the crowd!

 

Carlito tried to get the crowd on his side, to no avail. RVD offered to try, and asked Carlito to move to another corner. RVD went up the second rope, and as he did the PTS (Points To Self) thing, Carlito pushed him out! RVD had, from my point of view, an awkward fall, but Carlito just laughed at what he did!

 

Some spots include RVD teasing a 5-star frogsplash, but instead went with the Van Daminator on the apron when Carlito moved. RVD won with a 5-star frogsplash.

 

 

Shelton came first, and told how his mama told him to be focused on his match, since she won't be there with him. Shelton was good, knowing when to pause, as the crowd kept chanting "What?" everytime!!! After that, we teased and called him "Mama's boy!!!" Flair came next, and the chants soon came after (Woooo!!!). He took the mic as well, saying that Manila is Flair Country as well!! Every word Flair said was greeted with a resounding "Wooo!!!"

 

Now, back to the match. We can really see that Shelton was very cautious with Flair, as the headlock takedown took so long to unfold! Shelton's punches to Flair missed by a mile, but the chops, oh the chops!, were loud and crisp, and did I already say "LOUD"??? Shelton locked in the figure four on Flair, with the crowd desperately trying to bring Flair back and reverse the hold. In the end, Flair locked in the figure four on Shelton but Shelton hung on the ropes. Shelton won with a pin with a "little" hold on the bottom rope.

 

 

Man, now I know how really long Triple H's entrance is! But the crowd was fired up once his music started! Match was pretty standard for both of them. One sequence had Big Show doing the "Shhh!" chop, to which Triple H gave him two birds and then flopped! :lol: The crowd was shouting for Triple H to get the sledgehammer, but Triple H instead got a cord (booo!!!!) Eventually, Triple H got a chair, to which Big Show punched with his bare hand! Triple H got the ring steps and put it in the ring. Big Show got the steps, but Triple H got the chair. He hit Big Show in the gut, making his neck land into the ring steps he just carried. Triple H finished him with a chairshot at the back of the head (Ouch!). No Lady Sledge here.

 

 

Cena was wearing black Pumps today. His shoes have baller IDs in them? Never saw that before. Lita was hot! And I mean that in a good, "hot" way. She had a beautiful face (really), although we noticed that she might have increased bra sizes again. Match started with the game of "Mercy". Of course, "Superman" Cena won and got an advantage. Anyway, Edge kept going out of the ring and kissing Lita, prompting Foley to get a mic and tell them that if they kiss one more time, Edge will be disqualified. Then Edge, instead distracted Foley long enough for Lita to choke Cena with the second rope. This happened twice, until Foley caught Lita doing it. Crowd sang the "Na Na Na Na He He Hey Goodbye!" chant to get her out of there. Cena was actually surprised that we know that (What the hell does he think we watch? Heat?), and then started to play with the crowd by asking us to sing it much louder.

Match got kinda boring with Cena doing his funky hip drop, funky suplex and his variety (?) of clotheslines and punches. Edge got an advantages and used a sleeper hold. Crowd fired up the "Let's go Cena" chants. In between those chants, you can really hear vague "Let's go Edge" chants as well!

 

Match continued back and forth until endgame, when there was a ref bump and Edge used a slingshot to Cena on an exposed turnbuckle. Foley counted to 2, and Edge was disappointed he speared Foley. With Foley out of the way, Lita came back and got the Bling Belt, but Cena caught Lita. Too bad Edge found his way to the belt and smashed Cena's head with it after being distracted by Lita. The new referee came, and counted to 2. Edge speared the new referee again, as Lita then held on the Cena. Edge got the belt and tried to hit Cena, but Cena moved and Edge hit Lita instead. With Edge worried about what he had done, Cena took advantage, held Edge for the FU, just in time for Foley to get the 1, 2, 3.

 

After the match, Foley said two words, "Mahal Kita", to his "adopted" kid, Herma Grace (read Foley's blog, or should I say column, for more info). Then he gave the mic to Cena. Cena mentioned that Manila is not his town (prompting us to wildly speculate, and fruitlessly hope that Batista would come to the ring), but it's the Filipinos town.

 

That's it for tonight's show. They'll be back tomorrow, but I won't be going.

 

Hoping for WWE's plan on holding a Smackdown show this October! I definitely won't miss it!

Looking back, I can honestly say that it has been quite a year for me.  I have

experienced a different kind of high last year, and as the old guys say, "What

goes up, must come down", I came CRASHING down this year.

 

My life was in shambles at the end of the first half, and I strugged to keep

myself afloat towards the second half.  I missed out on very good job

opportunities, and at times became disillusioned with the company I continue to

work for.  I knew that I hit rock-bottom, even saying to myself that this is

the worst year of my life so far.

 

I have to admit, I am very disappointed in myself for doing some pretty stupid

things that left me out on some very good opportunities.  Here I am, still

stuck in the same job at the same work, whereas I could have been earning more

or having more responsibility in a different environment.

 

Maybe the fates (or destiny?) have something to do with this, but come on, part

or most of the blame has to be pointed at me, right? 

 

Of course, I never count out the positives that go with the negatives, an

optimist (and oftentimes a pessimist) as I am.

 

This is the year I can say that I have been closest to my friends, my

officemates, my family, and GOD.  Yes, it is true that you can always call on

Him whenever you need help.  He will not respond right away, but at least you

can tell Him everything you want to say, anytime and anywhere.  The time I

spent with Him has been fruitful, helping me realize things about myself, about

others, about life.  I'd probably still be stuck in the mud without His help.

 

I have been a recipient of many meaningful conversations and insights that

helped me stay sane.  A few of my questions were ultimately answered, some have

been in part, while others remain unresolved.  I know that GOD has answers to

these, and He chose to give it to me in parts.  I guess there's not much fun in

life without the suspense.

 

That is the main reason I am looking forward to next year.  There's so many

things to get excited about, with RAW coming to Manila (Feb. 24 and 25 at the

Araneta Coliseum), a new environment to work with, and a bevy (I hope) of

opportunities to come.  And that's all in the first quarter! 

 

That's it for 2005.  At first I wished this year was erased from my memory, but

now, I don't want to.  There are lots for me to learn from 2005, and when the

time comes, I'll look back again to this year, "THE WORST YEAR IN MY LIFE SO

 

See you in 2006!

It has been a while since I wrote here.  Oh well... Now I'm writing again.

 

Do you like to know how it is in Manila these days?  Try commuting using either a jeepney, an ordinary bus, or a taxi with a blown aircon.  If you just did that, then you can easily tell how I'm feeling after driving a car with absolutely no aircon at all!!!  Damn, it's hot!  Sweat dripping down your forehead, it feels like you're inside a steam bath. 

 

And if you think that's bad, try driving in the pouring rain, when your windows fog up due to the moisture!  Everytime I either go home or go to work, I wish it wasn't raining.  If it rains, you get the damn fog, and you also feel the heat!  It's a lose-lose situation!

 

Good thing my car's getting fixed tomorrow.  How I love to feel the cool breeze coming out from the aircon once more.  I'll miss my very attractive sweat smell again! hahaha

Wow! From what was a mouthwatering prospect last year to a bust!  The NJ Nets suddenly got off the trigger for the Shareef Abdur-Rahim trade because of bum knees??? WTF?!?!?!

 

I haven't gotten the chance to see Abdur-Rahim play, and yes, he played for the Grizzlies and the Trailblazers, not exactly powerhouse teams during his time, but, it would have been great to have him.

 

Since the loss of K-Mart (the stupid, overrated softie!), NJ has been a different team, struggling to get into the playoffs (narrowly beating Cleveland by a nose), when they should have been Eastern Conference title contenders once more.  With Abdur-Rahim, they would have replaced K-Mart with another good player to complement J-Kidd.  Never mind if he's a softie (insert Vince Carter here), as long as J-Kidd's happy, NJ is still going to be a fun team to watch.

 

Oh well, let's see where NJ's season goes now that Marc Jackson's patrolling the paint.

Finally found this one! After months of looking for it, it suddenly pops up in record stores.  WTF???

 

Oh well, it was too good an opportunity to pass up, and I snagged one before I may end up regretting it.

 

What do I think of the CD? Well, it has typical hooks and melodies.  But what made me buy this is the vocals.  Damn, I wish I had a voice like that!

 

However, I was disappointed with "Listen".  This is not the song I loved to hear on the radio (103.5 K-Lite, anyone?).  Why the hell is it slow?  And the f**king media player won't speed up the song to suit my taste.  Damn Media Player!!!!

 

From the looks of it, it's possible that this is another version of the CD.  I may be wrong, of course.  Overall, a good buy for OPM rock lovers, for a measly P280 (Jon, bili na!).

Ha! I've finally completed it! I now am a proud owner of all Coldplay CDs!  Damn fine music from them, I can say! I don't have a favorite album from the Trilogy yet, but I know I'll end up loving 'em all. 

 

Lately I've been "investing" some of my hard-earned cash on CDs.  I don't know why, but the only definite thing is that my ever-growing CD collection just keeps going bigger.  It does help when you have a car radio with a CD changer, eh? (Thanks Manoy!)

 

Heck, I love most of my CDs, and I don't intend to lose them again (Oh shit, I remembered the December 27, 2004 Tragedy! hahaha).

 

What would be my next target? Hmm...

 

 

Is that a pug?  If I'm right, then I want one!

 

I'm not by nature a dog or a pet lover.  Back when the askals have their heydey in our streets, I would carefully tread our street with my eyes looking forward and my teeth biting the shit out of my tongue!  Apparently, it was said to me that biting my tongue helps avoid dogs (how stupid and gullible I must be!), and wouldn't you know it, it works, albeit 90% of the time.

 

I've grown fond of them lately, especially when they're cute, cuddly and smelling fresh!  Yeah, there's still the maintenance part, the poops and the piss that come your way, but to feel that they love you, either by snuggling you or wanting to play with you, every one of those poops suddenly smell good!

 

Bad news is dogs don't come cheap!  Help me find one of these critters, or better yet, give me one!  I'll take good care of it I promise!

Aahh... a new blog...

 

I did this as a favor for a friend, who insisted on it.  Don't worry, blog lookers!  This won't look the same as my previous blog.

 

This would contain facts, figures and probably comments/opinions on things I'm currently using, watching or playing right now.  Hopefully, this can be done on a weekly basis, depending on my ever changing schedule.

 

So, without further ado, I welcome you!  Enjoy looking into my world!